Nostril Burner or Fertilizer?

This morning my Facebook page reminded me of this friendship bracelet. It brought me back to the moment I received it and it triggered a childhood memory. I was in Costa Rica for a 10 day trip. One of the days we went to this little souvenir shop where we all got food and some people shopped for things. I was waiting to do my souvenir shopping on the last day so I went back to the bus after I ate. Next thing I know, the my trip roommates get on the bus and hand me this bracelet. I remember feeling surprised but happy that they had thought of me. This was very special to me. I didn't understand it at the time, but this was one of those rare occasions in my life where I actually felt like I was part of the group, where I actually felt accepted.

The memory triggered some tears because it reminded me of being a little girl. Growing up, especially in elementary school, I never fit it. I felt excluded, like a weirdo, an outcast. I was weird. I still am, the difference is I accept it now, but kids can be cruel and I felt it. I've always been very sensitive so it would really hurt me when people were mean. I was very innocent, naive, and my mom still picked out my clothes so, as one of my friends so politely put it, "you looked like a dweeb". Damn. I had no idea that's how people thought of me, but now it makes sense. My mom bought me the most ridiculous clothes and because I didn't care or had any sense of fashion, I just wore it. I look back at old photos now and I can see how I got picked on, but when you're a child, you don't understand those things and you just feel like there is something wrong with you. I remember some girls excluding me from their little "clubs". I would cry because it hurt and because I didn't understand why they didn't want me to be a part of it. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me. Maybe there was, but I was a child and a sensitive one at that. Being called a "crybaby" or "too sensitive" were things I had heard far too often. When you hear that repeatedly, you do start to wonder if there is actually something wrong with you.

So for the first time, I guess, I was part of the "club". Maybe for the first time, I felt like there wasn't something wrong with me. I felt accepted and not only that, I felt wanted. THEY had thought of me when they were picking these out. I wasn't even nearby, but they included me in their thoughts. This is why this moment was so special to me. This is why I hold these friendships near and dear to my heart.

I am grateful for this moment and this memory. I am even grateful for the mean girls who excluded me, picked on me, or made me feel less than. I hated them then, but it taught me how to be compassionate and have empathy for others. That pain made my heart expand. I am able to hold space for other people now and I genuinely care when someone is feeling down.

We all learn from our experiences. Life is going to hand us some crappy cards at times, but what are you going to do with that crap?

It reminds me of this quote I used to have up on my fridge:

"Shit happens, but it's up to you to use it as a nostril burner or a fertilizer"

We can't control what life hands us. We can't control how other people treat us or even when they hurt us. You either let that get you down for the rest of your life, or you grow from it. I didn't want to be sad and feeling sorry for myself forever. I did not want other people to have the power over how I felt about myself. Step one was learning to accept myself completely, sensitivities, weirdness and all. When I did, the Universe blessed me with people I could relate to, who loved and accepted me for who I am. For that, I can only be grateful.

The Root of All Evil Is Not Money, It's Mindset

😬  I remember when I had 4 jobs, hardly any days off, and I was still "broke" living paycheck to paycheck. Ugh. I hated it. I hated life and everyone in it (ok not everyone, but mostly everyone) *sigh of relief* I am very grateful for where I am now, it definitely took a few years to get here. I do not have a perfect life or all the riches in the world, but I am grateful for a flexible schedule and the opportunities I am given to live the life I want and do the things I love.

Years ago, I never thought I could ACTUALLY be where I am now, being my own boss and not having to rely on a "steady" income from a corporate job or big company. And I'm not even where I'd like to be, just at the start of the journey. Sometimes, all it takes is to move away from a scarcity mindset. The idea that "I don't have enough money", "I'm broke", "no hay dinero"...all those ideas, are ideas I had to kick out of my system because I did not want to have them become my reality. I had to stop telling myself I was broke and instead remind myself, "money will come, I am ok", and I have enough".

Sometimes we block ourselves from our blessings, our own potential, because we don't believe we are worthy or we don't believe we are capable of handling it. I've had fears about having too much money. WTF?! Seems illogical right? Who doesn't want more money? The people who have been told their whole lives that "we're poor", "we're broke", "we don't have enough", "we are not enough", "no hay dinero"...in other words, "it's not possible for me" almost as if instilling the belief that "I am not deserving". Who told you that? Choose to believe different. The person who told you that said that because that is THEIR reality, it may be true for them but I don't want it to be true for me.

Some of us have been raised to believe money is greed, money is bad, money is the "root of all evil". The root of all evil does not come from money, it comes from what is already in your heart and your mind. If you're an asshole, you're gonna do asshole things. Sometimes money "changes" people, but sometimes it's that they are just showing what is already in their heart, what is valuable to them. I used to think, "oh no, if I have more money, will I become an asshole?", but when I was making more money I was spending it on my family, taking them on trips, I was able to contribute more, and I wanted to share what I had been blessed with. That's when I realized, "wait a minute, I didn't become what I was afraid I would become because that's not who I am and that's not how I want to use my resources". I have a different perception of money now. Now I see it as a tool to give us the opportunities, experiences, and lifestyles we want to be able to share with those we love.

There was a time I was working 3-4 jobs. I missed out on a lot of things. I hardly saw my family. I isolated myself from my friends. I was miserable because it didn't align with my most important values. One day I thought, "What's the point of working and making all this money if I can't be with and spend it with the people I love?". When I think of the reason I want to make money now, yes, it's to pay my bills, be self-sufficient, etc. but I, myself, don't need a lot. I can live off of very minimal things. Maybe it is because of the way I was raised (in this case it's beneficial to me). It allows me to live with little desire for things and a much greater desire for memories and experiences. When I think about that, I realize I need more money because there are other people I want to share those experiences and opportunities with. I'd like to be able to give those I love the same potential to enjoy life and what it's really about. At the end of the day, when you're old and gray, what will you be proud of most?

Recovering Perfectionist: Finding the Balance

This weekend I worked LA Fashion week. If you have seen any of my stories or posts about the subject then you have seen I work with some pretty “flawless” looking people. The men and women are beautiful. Most of them are tall, fit, have nice skin, and gorgeous hair. Compared to them, I feel barely average but I love working with them because at the end of the day they are humans just like me.

It is a challenge to work at these events for several reasons. 1. I have to deal with the battle of inner comparison when I am surrounded by models and 2. I have to work on my own tendencies of perfectionism with my work because we work with some very demanding fashion designers who have certain visions that we need to properly execute. It is the perfect concoction of challenging my perfectionist traits. This weekend I set daily intentions.

Day one: I set the intention to be open to seeing where I have improved in my craft and see my progression and also being open to seeing where I still need to improve, keeping in mind that I am still not where I was a year ago and that I am still learning. I was challenged. I felt like pushing back when I received constructive criticism or help, but I reminded myself of why I was there and what my intentions were. I was open to learning and this openness helped me get out of my own way and receive new information, insight, and friendships.

Day two: I set the intention to be open to what came. No real intention other than to be flexible and continue learning, vagueness didn’t work as well but I still had a good day.

Day three: I set the intention to have a good time and just let myself enjoy being a part of the process, reminding myself that I WANTED to do this and I had the choice to leave at any point that I decided to. I feel like this gave me my power back and this day turned out to be the most fulfilling for me. I loosened up more and was less worried about any specific outcome. I was open to helping others and shared my strengths in certain skills that others struggled with. Helping others made me feel useful and valuable because I had knowledge to share. It felt good to help others and, like I always say, “you don’t know what you know until you teach it to others”.

The truth is we all have our strengths and we all have our areas of struggles. In the hair world, especially at fashion week, it becomes evident that we all have things to learn from each other and that we all have different strengths. One person can be amazing at one thing but struggle with another thing. NO one is better than anyone, it just brings us back down to a humble state of “we are all learning here”. Or at least that’s how I looked at it. It’s especially easy to see during these events because at the end of the day we all have the same goals, to help the designers achieve the looks they need on the runway. If we want to execute great work, we HAVE to work together. Egos get put on check because if we don’t, that’s the fall of the entire team. We did great. The host said this was our best year yet. And I could definitely see that.

Perfectionism can be seen as a gift or a curse. On the one side, we notice all the little details of things that others may not notice however sometimes noticing all the details can also prove to be a challenge. What inspired this post was this mornings webinar that I took on perfectionism. We talked about the ways that perfectionism shows up in our lives.

Here are the 5 ways perfectionism shows up in our lives:

1. Staying stuck and not taking action - in my life this has shown up as what some call “Analysis Paralysis”: Overthinking things to the point of procrastination because not everything is 100% perfect

2. Feeling dissatisfied - I’ve seen this show up as disappointment because things are not as perfect as I feel they should be or the high expectations that I had were not met and therefore I feel dissatisfied.

3. Black and white thinking - This is when we only give ourselves options A & Z and we forget the rest of the alphabet exists (metaphorically speaking). We stay stuck on our own ways of doing things and we don’t even see the possibilities of anything other than our own way and anything contrary to that is an undesirable outcome. Staying stuck on our one way of doing things does not allow us to see the possibilities and multiple solutions that could come about if we were to look at all the letters available to us between A & Z. In other words there are no gray areas, it’s only one way or the other.

4. Harmful Comparison - This could have been easily experienced by me this weekend when I was surrounded by beautiful, seemingly perfect people. If I had stayed stuck on “this girl’s skin is prettier than mine” or “why can’t I look like that” I would have never had a good time and I would have felt pretty down on myself at the end of it all.

5. Fear of Change - unknown areas and uncertainty causes us to keep doing things the same way because of fear of not being perfect. I could have ignored the insight of other stylists and my instinct was to do so, but I reminded myself of the challenge I set for myself to learn and it helped me be open to “change” or what I like to label as learning.

Once we can identify the things that are affecting us from living our best lives and being our best selves, we can do something about it. Awareness is key and once we have the key we can open to doors to new possibilities.

So how do we overcome the perfectionist tendencies that hold us back? I mentioned some of the ways I have handles it with my personal experiences, but here are a few more if you want to see what works best for you:

1. Challenge your Fear. - Adopt the idea that it is ok to be afraid and do it anyway. If the only thing holding you back is fear, build up the courage to take a risk and work with your fear. For example, when I quit my office job, I was terribly afraid, but I knew I had to do it because I had to think realistically: what was I going to regret more? Doing it and failing? Or never doing it and always wishing I had? For me the risk was greater because I knew at least then the choice was mine and the only way to know the outcome was to try it out. I then challenged the fear I had with the “student” mindset, reminding myself that I am still learning and that at least I was taking steps in the right direction. Fear of failure can make us want to stay where we are, but I like to challenge that fear by reminding myself of the reality of things. When you are new to something you aren’t going to do everything perfect because you don’t know everything, that is the reality of the situation. You don’t know what you don’t know so how can you expect to do it perfectly at the start?

2. If you are competitive and you beat yourself up because you didn’t win by a mile, remind yourself that even an inch is ok. There is no need to go to the extreme to make it count. Be proud of your mini accomplishments and remember we are all learning.

3. Set reasonable goals. It’s great to have big dreams, but make sure to break those dreams and goals down into bite-size micro goals to build up to the greater end goal. Essentially it is the idea of compound effect, each little step is a building block to the greater outcome.

4. Watch how you talk to yourself: add in more compassion and less negative self-talk. Be kind to yourself the way you would be to someone you care about. (I’ve mentioned this in a previous blog if you want to check it out.)

5. Be aware of the comparison tug of war. What I am referring to are those moments when we compare ourselves to others and either dismiss them or dismiss ourselves from interacting with them because they don’t meet or they exceed our levels of expectations. Adopt a curious mindset. I do this by asking questions such as the following: “what can I learn from this person” or “what can I find interesting about this person”? Instead of immediately jumping to a conclusion or assumption, allow yourself to actually experience and get to know others before you just dismiss their presence or influence.

Lesson on "Flow" vs Structure

Last year I decided to become a self-sufficient stylist and fully freelance. It was something I was hesitant about and I had a lot of fear around. I like stability and a steady income, so I knew going freelance meant planning ahead and budgeting in order to stay afloat. Not all days are good days and not all months are profitable, but I was exposed to this when I worked in sales. Some days are good, some days are barren, some days make up for the days you didn't have anything. It's a part of the process and something I tried to train myself in while I was working at my office job over a year ago.

There have been times when I started to panic and I started to question whether I should just give up and get a job somewhere else and go back to working for someone else. Lately I've been taking color appointments even if I don’t like doing them, just so I can keep myself bringing in some income because I feel my mental health and healing have prevented me from fully focusing on my work and income production. I can start to beat myself up about it but I also realize I have been granted an opportunity of a lifetime. I am grateful to have made it as far as I have thus far. It is only year one, and the first year is usually the hardest because you are starting to get a feel for things. I'm still learning and while I learn I also have been focusing on my healing. Although I may not be thriving yet, I do realize that I am not where I was a year ago. Instead I am working for myself, feeling more comfortable with my skill, getting out of my own way, and my speed has also improved which was a part of my goals that I set for this year. My main thing was that I wanted to become more skilled and a faster stylist so I could do more of what I love to do.

Last weekend I did 2 weddings in one day and this time everything worked out smoothly. There were still times where I felt choked up or nervous, but I found that loosening up and not worrying so much about being perfect made all the difference. It felt counter intuitive because I'm used to creating very structured looks and very "shellac-ed" hairstyles that last all day, so loosening my grip on control and allowing things to be softer and more “flowey” has proven to be a challenge for me. Like I told one of my leads at DV (the wedding company I work with), "I'm always afraid of being too messy" so I hold back or rather I don't let myself be soft and airy, instead I remain in control of the hair at all times and I end up creating something that is too "stiff" and structured. I've heard it before.

And as I write I start to realize it is a metaphor of my life. I need to loosen up. I used to think I was the person who was chill and just went with the flow, and in some areas I am, but I think overall, I like to have a grip on life and I want to see perfection. What the Universe is trying to show me lately, I feel, is that there is beauty in imperfection. Sometimes you don't have to try so hard and sometimes those "effortless" looks are not only more fun to create but they are also more soft, romantic, airy and, in their own way, beautiful.

There is a time and a place for everything. Sometimes structure is good. Sometimes it isn't necessary and having more flow creates a happier outcome for everyone involved. To me it actually takes a load off and I feel more relaxed since I've loosened my grip and allowed myself to be "imperfect". How odd that something so seemingly insignificant can tell me so much about what life is trying to teach me. I definitely feel like I'm being taught that more flow and ease bring about better results in my life. I guess I never realized how tight my grip was on my "old way" of thinking. Everything had to be perfect, still, and long-lasting. But I now understand that it also creates stiffness, non-movement and less “flow”.

I understand the significance of the two. The last wedding I did allowed me to not only do a better job because I didn't focus so much on perfection, but it also gave me the freedom to enjoy what I do. Going through "obstacles" and not taking them personally and allowing myself to be flexible and try to connect with what my client wanted, reminded me of the potential within the chaos. Even though communication seemed to be failing and it seemed to be difficult to understand my clients needs, I allowed myself to remain open and eventually we did exactly what made her happy.

What I learned was that I need to loosen up and let myself flow, which yields greater results for everyone involved making the process more enjoyable for me and opening up my mind to think of solutions more clearly without taking things personal. Working alongside my client to connect and understand what makes them feel comfortable was a key to successfully delivering the results that created a happy outcome for my client, I just had to think outside my own box.

Intention

What is it? I feel like this word is thrown out there a lot. A father may ask “what is your ‘Intention’ with my daughter?”, but has anyone ever really stopped to think about what that word really means?

According to Oxford dictionary online the definition of intention is as follows:

1. a thing intended; an aim or plan.

2. the healing process of a wound

3. conceptions formed by directing the mind towards an object

I’ve always had my own concept of the word “intention” as I’ve heard it a lot growing up in church. Now I hear it all the time and it seems like the word is just trending (or maybe people are becoming more aware). “Do things with intention". “Put intention into everything you do” or something similar to that.

I have always been a very imaginative and “dreamy” person. My mind wanders and I daydream a lot. Thankfully this has made the concept of intention easy for me to understand and for me it’s like playing pretend and imagining the outcome I desire to have while preforming an action that will get me to that outcome. It’s not always physical or tangible.

Because I am open to dreaming and being playful with it, I do like to pretend (and have done this since I was a kid) that I have powers or that I have the ability to influence an outcome if I use my mind to help get me there. Yes, as crazy as that sounds, I like to imagine that, for example, when I am pulling out weeds in my yard I am healing and uprooting things in my life that no longer serve me, just as those weeds in my yard no longer serve me. Because I approach it in a playful “lets just pretend” kind of way, I don’t expect it to work, but I do put the “intention” behind it, just in case it does. “You never know” is always the thought that backs that thinking. Like “hey, if it works, cool. And if it doesn’t, at least I made pulling weeds purposeful and meaningful to me”.

I also do this when I cut hair or work with clients. I imagine that when we cut off all the dead ends we also breathe new life to the hair. I always tell my clients they will feel so much better after and that their hair will grow. Sometimes it takes a long time to see the results, but I have seen a handful of clients whose hair would not grow past their shoulders for years who, now, with a lot of commitment on their part and a lot of intention on mine, the results show what patience and perseverance can do. It took time, I will not deny that, but it was time that was used productively and with a goal in mind. We were committed and with that commitment we’ve seen results.

When you have an intention, things are not just gonna fall in your lap. It’s not magic, but it can seem that way sometimes because it does have influence over your results. I think, more than anything, it keeps you focused on the goal. What is your goal? That is your intention. What do you plan on doing? That is your intention. What do you want to happen? That is your intention and the results are manifestation, which is a topic for a different day.

For now, I am just going to reiterate “do all things with intention”. Be playful with it and imagine what you desire. It may have no impact on what you do, but what if, let’s just pretend here, what if it does?

SELF LOVE TIP #1: IT ALL STARTS WITH YOU

Have you ever wondered why you sometimes snap at other people only to realize it has nothing to do with other people at all? How do you talk to yourself? Do you put yourself down or beat yourself up when you make mistakes? Emotions can be tricky; it's important to be compassionate and forgiving when we make mistakes. This is the first step to self love - learning to love and forgive ourselves despite the occasional slip ups.

Self-love is something everybody has heard about by now. Some people are over hearing about it, others are wondering how to heck to do it! In a society that is constantly comparing themselves to others and consistently striving for delusional perfection, I honestly believe that it is a MUST to make self-love a part of your daily habits. Yes, I said habits, just like brushing your teeth or taking a shower, it should be considered self-maintenance.

Why? Because it all comes down to you.

Now, I'm not expert on the topic, but I have learned quite a bit since I started my "self-love journey" about 3 years ago. One thing that really helped me was looking at things from a third-person perspective.

Think about how you would talk to someone you really love. If they came to you with a problem and shared with you their most vulnerable stories, what would you say to them? If a friend told you about something they did that they regret or feel ashamed for, how would you talk to them? Are you using the same kindness and compassion you use with them to speak to yourself? If you aren't, try to use the same strategy by pretending you are your friend that is sharing their story.

Just like with any new habit, it will take consistent practice to make it almost effortless. Acknowledge how you feel and hold yourself accountable for your contribution, then be loving and compassionate so you can take the necessary steps to do better in the future. Don't give up if you don't get it right away. If you see yourself going down a dark path of negative self-talk, bring yourself back to a place of love and kindness. Try this for a few days and see how you feel.

When Emotions Are Your Superpower

I woke up feeling inspired today in honor of international women’s day. I was so excited and honored when I found out. I felt like celebrating every woman in my life or who has ever been a part of my life journey. Their presence, love, and version of femininity have inspired me to want to discuss my opinion on the importance and value of being a woman. My intention is to encourage us to embrace our feminine energy and emotions by shedding light on the impact it can have on the people around us.

This morning, I got the idea of posting a live video on Instagram to share some inspiration to the women in my life. I was super excited, got ready, made my coffee and almost didn’t post anything because I started getting super nervous. People that know me know I’m a “behind-the-scenes” kind of girl and that I always feel awkward in front of a camera. I started thinking “what if people don’t like it” or “what if people try and fight me on it”, but I knew that was just resistance. I took the time to sit down and ask myself why I felt inspired to make a video in the first place. I realized that I didn’t always feel like being a woman was a celebration and now that I do, maybe what I had to say would be of value to somebody else.

I believe this influence is so important and necessary because, generally and stereo-typically speaking, women are considered more sensitive and emotional than men. I know for me this was and is still true but I didn’t always have the easiest time accepting it. Growing up I was considered a “tomboy”. I wasn’t trying to be a boy, I just didn’t want to be restricted. I didn’t understand why sports were just catered to boys or that blue was considered a “boy color” even though it was my favorite color. I was confused by the labels because I was a girl and I liked “boy things”. I wanted to be allowed to like what I liked and I was confused by the disapproval.

On top of that I was also very sensitive and emotional which was considered a “girl thing”. I had a lot of feelings, most of which I didn’t understand. In my mind I adopted the belief that my emotions only caused me problems. I felt confused by my emotions because sometimes they felt really intense and I wanted them to “go away”. As I got older I learned to “cope” with them but I really think I just tucked them away subconsciously because I didn’t want to be seen as weak.

At one point I dated a guy who told me that I was “too emotional” and I developed the belief that there was something wrong with me. Throughout the entire time we dated, I felt major anxiety and when we broke up I actually felt a sense of relief. I believe that because I had a hard time accepting myself as I was, he was unable to accept me as well. It was then that I understood the idea that you have to “love yourself first before you can love anyone else”. In reality, I think learning to love ourselves sets the standard for how we give and receive love. In my case, I had allowed myself to believe I was “too much to handle” making myself unable to see the strength in my sensitivity.

It was a conversation with my friend Steve that allowed me to see the strength in my emotions. He said to me “your emotions are your superpower” and I had to stop and think about it for a while. I realized he was right to a certain extent and I contemplated the idea of emotions being a superpower. I realized that thanks to my sensitivity and emotions, I was able to relate to people around me. I also realized that IF I had an actual superpower, I would have to learn how to harness it. So I began doing research, reading books, and changing habits. With time and practice, I started to embrace my sensitivity. I learned to accept, appreciate, and understand my emotions and began to see them as a gift. A gift that I now knew I had a responsibility to understand.

I started by questioning my emotions, not in a judgmental way, but with curiosity. I realized if I wanted to be understood, I had to understand myself first and if I wanted to be loved and accepted, it had to start with me. I started to realize that I SET THE TONE for how people would react to my energy. Understanding my internal “wiring” became my primary concern. Once I was able to understand the way I “function”, I noticed everything around me got a little easier and I believe it was because understanding myself made it less confusing for everyone else to understand me because I was able to clearly communicate what and why I felt how I did.

Thank god I went through that process, because I believe that was only the beginning. Even though I had made tremendous progress, I still had a lot more work to do. It wasn’t until my current relationship that I realized this was only the beginning of me learning to FULLY embrace my feminine side. When I got with my boyfriend, I realized how much of a “girl” I truly was or rather, how necessary it was for me to learn to embrace “being a girl”. In my perception of reality I had accepted that being feminine just wasn’t “me”, even though at some point dresses and lipstick made me feel confident. The truth is I had gotten comfortable and I took “loving myself as is” to the extreme. I stopped wearing make up, doing my hair and I didn’t really care how I looked. I had learned to love and accept myself completely and I expected everyone to see me for who I was.

In reality I was actually neglecting the part of me that wanted to embrace my femininity (although I didn’t know that’s what was happening at the time). I was reminded of being a little girl and how before my favorite color was blue, I actually loved pink. My mom would actually dress me up in cute little outfits, tights, and bows and I was actually super girly. Low-key, I wanted to do it now that I was an adult but there was still a part of me that resisted because in my mind “it wasn’t me”. I had to be really honest with myself and admit that physically embracing my femininity actually gave me confidence and that it was okay to admit that. I also realized I was in the beauty industry and that, not only was I making a bad impression on my clients, but I knew the importance and impact of enhancing external beauty because I know what it does for the women in my chair. The quote “when you look better, you feel better” came to mind and I realized I was no different. The only difference was that I had been depriving myself of that opportunity because of my own preconceived notions of “who” I felt I was.

This bring me to my next point, which is the idea of embracing duality. All my life I felt like I had to pick and choose the sides of me that I liked and hide the sides I didn’t. Now I know that learning to fully embrace every side of my personality has really allowed me to step into my personal power. Stepping into my personal power has allowed me to understand the greater picture of life and why I believe, as women, we have a beautiful gift to offer the world.

One of the major turning points for me seeing the value of being a women was when my boyfriend told me that “it takes a great woman to make a great man”. I guess I expected him to say the famous “behind every great man is a great woman” quote, but what he said rang even more true. I thought to myself “It really does take a good woman to raise a good man, especially since the first woman in any man’s life is his mother.” Not everyone has the privilege of having a mother present in their lives, but thankfully life allows for many other opportunities to learn from feminine influences such as teachers, sisters, partners or any other female figures in a person’s life.

I also understand that it is not always easy being a “sensitive creature” and that it can be challenging to take on that role. But there is beauty and power in embracing that side of ourselves. For me, embracing my femininity has allowed me to step into Goddess energy and be more confident in my personal power. I am still loving, kind, patient, and compassionate, but I am also not shy to speak my mind. I know that if I am to get what I want, I need to communicate it. In order to communicate, I have to understand my needs, desires, and emotions, but, most importantly, my values. So don’t think that just because you are loving and kind you are allowing people to walk all over you. You have to set boundaries. Like I mentioned before, you set the tone for how you allow others to treat you.

That being said, I wanted to emphasize the importance of allowing your feminine side to be seen. I believe it is our duty as women to share that tenderness and love with the people around us because that energy can help shift a situation. In the case of a child struggling in school, the most productive approach is to be patient, supportive, encouraging, and understanding. When a person struggles, the last thing they want is for someone else to confirm or reaffirm the beliefs that they already have about themselves (such as “I can’t learn”.) Sometimes all we have to do is believe in the people around us in order for them to believe in themselves.

Be the catalyst for change. Remember, your energy is contagious.

What will you do with your “superpower”?